Chatelaine October 2005, Vol. 78 No. 10
A friend tells you she has cancer. Your cousin winds up in the hospital.
Your sister is restricted to bedrest. We’ve all been there, and sometimes
it’s difficult to know exactly how to help or even what to say. But all it
takes, says Ann Syme, provincial leader of palliative care at the B.C.
Cancer Agency in Victoria, is a little sensitivity. Here are a few
suggestions the next time you find yourself asking. . .
How should I react when my friend tells me she has a serious illness?
You may be tempted to share a story about your aunt who has the same
condition, but don’t give advice unless you’re asked. Instead, listen to
what your friend needs. And don’t assure her that everything will be fine.
False cheeriness can seem dismissive, says Syme.
What’s proper hospital etiquette?
Call before a hospital visit, and once there, ask the nurse how frequently
you should visit and how long you should stay. Above all, respect patient
privacy, advises Maggie, who asked us not to use her real name after her
family overcrowded the room she shared with eight other patients. Clad only
in a gown with exposed legs, Maggie constantly had to tell her visitors to
close her curtain.
How can I help?
People who are sick often try to find a balance between managing illness and
living as normal as possible, says psychologist Karen Fergus of Sunnybrook
and Women’s College Health Sciences Centre’s cancer program in Toronto. Your
friend might not always want to talk about her illness, so ease off if she
clams up. Remember you’re not the doctor leave health care to the
professionals and focus on your friend’s comfort.
Next article